I dont now if he loves me ? :s?

hey everyone i really need some serious help , ive been in a relationship with a guy 3 years older then me, been together 2 years now. im not sure if he loves me but im scared to leave him, when we first met it was by accident really he just got out a bad relationship and so did i. when our relasionship first started he was embarresed of me because i was younger then him, he always denied we were together to his freinds and tried avoiding people he new ... a few months into our relationship he had a few drinks and he said he still cared about his ex girlfreind hu btw is a model!! .. hes always nagging at me and telling me that im depressing and mardy and thats the reason he always drinks and goes out... also im a student and its really hard for me to find a part time job aswell so he make me feel really low about myself by saying hurtfull things even tho i spend all the time i can hunting for a job - wen i met him i did have a great job but he made me quit becuz he didnt like my boss. he says he loves me but im not sure if i belive it when i think about our relationship theres nothing romantic its only hurtfull things i remember. he never buys me flowers or suprises me, he doesnt even say hello when he comes home from work everyday he just goes straight to the bedroom on the labtop or watches telly ... is that normal? i cant bring myself to say its over becuz i love him and hes a very aggresive person so if i try talking about it i get nervouse and say the rong thing and we end up in a big fight were i phissically and mentally get hurt, sometimes i think its me am i not gud enough for him , im always stressing about my looks because i wanna be perfect for him but i dont feel it i just feel fat and really ugly its so upsetting ... we dont even have anymore im 18 years old and i would of thought hed want to make love all the time but im luky if i get it twice a month now.im in desperation of an answer what to do becuz i dont think i can carry on if nothing changes soon ? ? please help me someone ?